Writing again (commentary)
I’m ecstatic. I’m proud of myself. I’m writing again. It feels like a miracle. It feels great! I’m not on mute. I have opened up, not completely, perhaps half way, but that’s better than no words, no writing, pure silence. That’s better than not trying to write, and evading all the hard work, misspellings and incongruities of writing. Carlos Fuentes talked about “the struggle of silence”; I know about that. I have struggled with my sloth, self-confidence, the critic in me, among other characters/demons that stop us from writing. Even if we don't aim to win a Nobel, or be any good.
I had stopped writing for pleasure and fun and that’s no good for the spirit, or the mind. I knew it and that’s probably I felt both of them heavier and unbereable. I'm glad I'm writing again. I used to divert myself from writing by saying: I have to read this for work. I’ll write later. I can’t do it now. I have nothing to say; why should I write? Who’ll read it? Who’ll care? I must check the news, read, or sleep instead. Through writing I explore life, my surroundings and self. And how would I do that if not writing? I’m happy I’m back searching and on my quest.
I’ve also learned to admire those who write. They have courage. And by saying that, I’m not calling myself courageous, I haven’t written anything worth publishing and many of the ideas I’ve thought good and worthy I saved them for later, forgot them and never put them on paper. But I admire those who write, do it well, or give it a shot.
I had stopped writing for pleasure and fun and that’s no good for the spirit, or the mind. I knew it and that’s probably I felt both of them heavier and unbereable. I'm glad I'm writing again. I used to divert myself from writing by saying: I have to read this for work. I’ll write later. I can’t do it now. I have nothing to say; why should I write? Who’ll read it? Who’ll care? I must check the news, read, or sleep instead. Through writing I explore life, my surroundings and self. And how would I do that if not writing? I’m happy I’m back searching and on my quest.
I’ve also learned to admire those who write. They have courage. And by saying that, I’m not calling myself courageous, I haven’t written anything worth publishing and many of the ideas I’ve thought good and worthy I saved them for later, forgot them and never put them on paper. But I admire those who write, do it well, or give it a shot.
posted by Arlena at
11:07 PM
2 Comments:
yes, you are writing again...
and that's what matters. It's not good to force it, you do it when you feel like it, for fun, not with a Pulitzer in mind.
I lost this sense of 'fun' in painting for a while, so I know what you mean, but then I decided to return to the roots, how everything started, and that is, at least for me, with the eyes of a child. Back then I did everything for fun, for nothing, what mattered was to do it. That's what Picasso meant by "All of my life I've been learning to paint like a child."
I knew Picasso had said that. I love that quote.
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